Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

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For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

I’ve been with my husband for 17 years, married for 13. Our dynamic is that he gets mad and demands something and I give in to keep the peace. I always try to fix everything and take care of everything and it’s never enough. Today he angrily demanded that I get rid of our cat because it pees on his drum mat. This cat was his idea to get and we’ve had her for 16 years. About 12 years ago he wanted to get rid of her and I cried and he dropped it, but I had to take on all of her care. I scooped her litter box during both pregnancies and such. If I tried to get him to help he would just say to get rid of her. Anyhow, this morning he said I needed to get rid of her and I said NO. He said fine he would get rid of her then and I calmly looked him in the eyes and said if he did I would never forgive him. He seemed shocked. I told him I put up with a lot of his shit and this was a bridge too far. So he’s been sulking all day in the guest bedroom and I’ve been going about my normal routine. I’m really proud of myself for putting my foot down.

Edit: the cat only peed on his mat when she was inadvertently separated from her litter box. My oldest moved the cat and the litter box into her room for a period of time and then would accidentally shut the door and kitty would be trapped outside the room. I’ve since moved the box to a more central location so this won’t happen again. The mat was the only somewhat soft spot she had access too since we have tile floors . She has not peed there for a while but he pulled the mat out today to clean it more thoroughly and the old urine stains are what set him off.

Edit 2: My husband is not always a jerk. He loves me, but he does take me for granted. I love him and I make it easy for him to take me for granted. I’ve just finally decided not to play that role anymore. Either he will accept it or he won’t. I’m not afraid of being alone or anything like that. I’d be fine.

Edit 3: Thank you to those offering encouragement and support.

TW: miscarriage

I live in Ohio and activists are working towards making abortion access and rights on the ballot. I went to sign the petition today and there were 2 protesters out there. No worries, don’t engage, but then they were saying “their blood is on your hands” and I thought about the miscarriage I had back in late July. This was a planned pregnancy, I met with my OB on a Tuesday and I passed the embryo on Thursday while at work. There was lots of blood—more than when I was postpartum—and hearing these ass holes talk about blood just set me off. I came out and they asked me why I signed it. I screamed I had a miscarriage and this ass hole is like, “so what?” DUMB ASS, people need abortion care for miscarriages. “No they don’t.” Where’s your MD? “What?” Highest degree? “I finished high school.” Fuck you. I just needed to get that off my chest.

And you don't have to either, in case you needed to hear that today. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying sex in whatever contexts you like with whatever partners you like, provided everything is safe and consensual, of course. It's an act most people enjoy much of the time, ideally with partners who care about each other's pleasure.

And if you're not into it or your interest is limited, then that's fine as well. What's important is that you're content.

Have a wonderful weekend! 😊

I’m tired of being harassed by old men and coworkers. I want to work and be left alone . I’m done and I feel relieved. I realize this may be a problem at every job but I needed a change. I regret walking out with no notice …but I’m done.

I live in the panhandle of Texas, and even with younger people I've noticed this bias. I can do all the research in regards to finding a company or contractor to do the work we need, but we only hear back if my husband is the contact. We're older millennials, we tip or over pay anyone for their work and we try to be as agreeable as possible. It's crazy to me that if I was a single woman, I would have to go to a male coworker/friend/family member to even get these people to call me back.

​

I don't live in a small enough town that everyone knows everyone, but it's also not a big enough city that I have multiple options for these kind of jobs. I think only a total of 5 fence companies came up when I was looking. I just was flabbergasted that the company I had reached out to a week prior and left a message with never called me back, but I put in an website quote questionnaire and my husband's phone was ringing the next day. Bonkers.

I put on a fit I thought was really cute and I felt super fun in it. I took like maybe 10 steps out of my car into public and this lady said something to me. I had my headphones in so I took one out and I just heard ‘you’re asking to be raped’ I presume the first comment was something along the lines of my skirt being too short. I immediately turned around and got back in my car to drive home and change. I just wanted to tell some people cause I’m annoyed and upset. I know I just need to forget it but I don’t think I’ll be able to for a bit. Just wanted to vent :’(

Our culture romanticizes the Mad Men era. Men were chivalrous, women were lady-like and we had strong family values. But I want to hear your stories, the real version of events. What was it like being an adult woman in the 40s/50s/60s? What hardships did you face? Were there any aspects of culture you preferred back then?

Edit: Yes, I understand the 40s are a bit early. It's been pointed out already. Perhaps we could discuss our mother/grandmothers' experiences as well.

This past week I went to the OB-GYN to replace my IUD. Of course this was super painful, and all I had in terms of “pain management” was a high dose of Advil and Xanax to relax my anxiety. After the procedure was finished and I was lying on the exam table with my feet still in the stirrups, my (new) doctor informed me that what she had pulled out of me was the Mirena, and not in fact the Liletta that I thought I had for all these years. At the time, I had requested a 3 year IUD and the liletta was what my doctor carried. All of my health records say that I received it as well. Ultimately it got approved for longer usage, so I decided to keep it in.

I pretty immediately started crying, and have been feeling really freaked out since. I know that ultimately it didn’t impact my health, but I can’t stop thinking about how I didn’t know what was in my body for nearly a decade. Regardless of whether it was a simple mix up or not, I can’t shake the feeling of not being in control of my own reproductive health. I keep crying a bunch, and it doesn’t help that I’m still cramping/spotting from my iud procedure, reminding me of that really vulnerable moment.

Has this happened to anyone else here? I’m sort of at a loss for who to talk to.

I 24f was beaten and assaulted at the end of my freshman year of college. After he started stalking me when I was cheerleading at sports games, I reported him to the police. It turns out, he was a person of interests in many cases in the states where he played semi professional sports. His very wealthy family got him a lawyer and because I reported later and had no rape kit, the case was dropped. I went to therapy, moved out of the country where I finished college, then moved back stateside for grad school. I’m still in therapy and have had romantic relationships since this has occurred. However, he contacted me tonight asking if I still lived in the area and to talk. I told him not to contact me, that all of our correspondence is being recorded, and blocked him. However, I still feel sick. I feel panicky and disgusting and disoriented

Listen. I'm a wannabe weightlifter.

And when I say "wannabe", I mean that once in a blue moon, I'll decide to get back into it, refresh on forms and safety, and start going back the gym. (It never lasts because... I'd rather sit around and eat oreos.)

Now, listen. I don't know what tf I'm doing.

As far I'm concerned, I'm just a cavewoman wandering around, going, "Me want strong. Me lift dis. Me lift dat."

Then I see you. I promise that I try to mind my own business in gyms (as people should) but WOW.

You're over there doing squats.

You're over there doing rows.

You're over there doing deadlifts.

You're over there doing proper form.

You're over there looking like you can beat someone up if you wanted to.

You're over there lifting who-knows-how-heavy-that-thing-is.

I swear, I can't count the number of times I've wanted to come up to one of you and go, "Yo. Teach me your ways."

So, women who weightlift: I love you. And seriously, teach me your ways.

Signed,

Cavewoman with Zero Muscle Content

I told him to shut the fuck up.

There was another time where I was fixing my belt and a coworker (not the same) made a joke "showing us some goodies?" I looked at him with a look and went back to doing it (maybe I was dumb to continue in front of him)

In the past month I learned that can't lean on a counter and I can't fix my belt in front of men at work anymore.

I just need to get this out somewhere. I'm not blindsided, I've seen it coming in my periphery for a long time, and just hoped it would all hold together for a little while longer. Part of me has wanted out for a long time, but this is also the only time in my life anyone has really committed to me and supported me in any way and I'll admit that I like the comfort that provides - emotionally, mentally, and financially. I've come a really long way and grown a lot as a person since we met over 10 years ago. We have 2 small kids, just bought a house less than 2 years ago and the thought of everything changing so much fills me with dread.

Husband is not a bad guy, but there are certain issues we've always had. I thought we would keep working at it and growing together and that it would all be okay. One of our biggest issues had always been in the bedroom. Truthfully I don't feel that we've ever had sexual chemistry. But when we first met I had a very high sex drive, and I liked him and thought maybe I could teach him what I liked and help him be more confident. He did learn some, but not much, and being instructed only made his confidence worse. The first several years we were together he rarely lasted longer than 2-3 minutes, and could never really just keep going or wait a little while and go again. So I pretty much only orgasmed by myself with a vibrator. I never liked his method going down on me. Things got a little better for a few years, I guess, but we rarely had sex more than once a month, usually less. Now I'm in my early 40's and I assume it's hormones as well as a buildup of our bedroom issues, but I just don't want sex or intimacy at all.

He's always complained about wanting sex more often, but now it's turned into him saying he's not sure he can continue in our relationship without sex. To me the thought of having sex when I really don't want to makes my whole body lurch. I've been raped twice in my twenties. I just can't. Then add in the fact that sex with him has mostly just been for his pleasure, and I just can't.

I do still find him moderately attractive, and I do get horny sometimes, but it's literally only on afternoons when I'm ovulating. But ovulating is painful for me, and sometimes sex is too. Plus I've been staying home with the kids for years, and it's like everyone is always all over me. I just want to be left alone sometimes.

Yet I feel like my life is about to fall apart. I only just got a low paying part time job. It's in a field I've been wanting to get into forever and I really love it. To make decent money I'd have to go back to school, though. I couldn't do it before because I could afford it and was always just on my own. I thought once our kids were both in school I could finally do it, but without his support I won't be able to. I have college debt and a useless degree. He's a debt free college dropout that makes six figures. I hate it being about money too, but fuck it feels so unfair how hard I've tried and if he divorced me I would go right back to being as poor as before we met.

I'll figure it if I have to, but I always imagined if it came down to this, that I'd be in a better position to handle it. That feels like such a ridiculous and naive thought now..

For months I thought that this man genuinely liked me as a person and that we were friends. Then, despite nothing happening as far as I could see, he stopped talking to me and started avoiding me or only making awkward small talk when we bumped into each other. For weeks I have been tormented, wondering what I did wrong that made me so unlikeable all of a sudden.

Yesterday, I found out that around the time he stopped talking to me he got a girlfriend. He had just been dumped when we first met, so I have never before known him while he was in a relationship. To be clear, this man has plenty of long-term female friends who he still talks to regularly, so it isn't like he can't be friends with women, and yet this seems to be the reason for his coldness. This has left me with one conclusion: that he never actually liked me and was just being nice with the hope that he could eventually sleep with me (in hindsight, there was plenty of behaviour which pointed to him being attracted to me).

Attraction alone would be fine, but the fact that he stopped talking to me all together suggests that he never liked me as a person, only as a prospective fleshlight. I feel so betrayed for having cared about him and shared things with him when all along I was nothing to him. I feel so stupid for having liked him so much when we still talked and for still missing what I once thought we had despite what I now know. I feel both disgust for the way he manipulated me and a longing to get him back as a friend.

I have had a similar experience with men I thought were friends asking me out and then disappearing after I reject them, and I am starting to question whether I have any value as a person and friend at all

I feel so humiliated and angry at myself. I was too much of a god damn wimp to say anything when she asked me if I liked the color. I asked for a little highlights/balayage. She toned me and turned my hair cotton candy pink. I work in a very conservative profession and this color is completely unacceptable. I'm going to have to box dye my hair tomorrow. It cost over $100 more than the advertised price on the website, nearly $300 total. I explicitly said I don't want color, just lightening, and she convinced me toner was needed. I wanted to treat myself and I ended up looking like a clown. Sorry to rant.

I am currently having several interviews, as a 23-year-old woman. I am furious to see some little disrespectful questions, for instance about my SO (I don't see how his job is supposed to have a relation with my application for a workplace that is not the same as his), or if I have children (I had already explained that I had no mandatory time limits to leave on the end of the day, and that I would adapt to the work hours). My favourite question was what my SO thought of my application for this specific job. I was so surprised, I didn't even dare say what I thought (things like : why the hell should he decide where I apply to.).

I'm disgusted to see job interviewers ask such questions, that are not directly related with my ability to work for the job I am interviewing for.

TLDR : 23F fed up of having stupid, non related questions, about my SO, for interviews I am having.

You're competing against women's solitude, peace of mind, serenity. Your presence must bring something to the table. We ain't settling anymore. You're not in competition with other men. We women can happily keep our own company. Look at who the happiest demographic is. Threatening us with "loneliness" doesn't carry the weight you think it does. Better peace in solitude than companionship that brings strife.

To any women reading this: a man won't make you feel whole. That comes from within. You are enough. You are worthy of respect and love. Never ever settle. You deserve happiness.

Sincerely,

A happily married crazy cat lady.

Let me just jump right into it.

I got an abortion 10ish months ago. I am now pregnant again (I just took the test 30 minutes ago) and am still in no position to care for a newborn, so I will be needing another abortion. I am worried about going to the same place I went to last time, but it is the only place close enough to me that I would be able to go to (I live in a conservative state and will have to go to another state for this). I know they will be nice to me, but I am so scared of what they will think of me and what they will say behind my back. I am also worried that getting 2 abortions in less than 1 year is going to do irreparable damage to my uterus. If anyone has any comforting words or advice or can link me the sites where you can buy the pill and have it shipped or just anything really, I would really really appreciate that. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense. I feel like I'm living the worst april fool's prank right now

So, I got dressed up a bit the other day. Nothing crazy, just a cute outfit and my favorite makeup to go out for the afternoon. It was my day off and I wanted to celebrate feeling almost normal after my surgery two weeks ago (fallopian free, yay). I surprised my husband at work and decided to hang around for a beer. He works at a restaurant and they have great craft beer.

I noticed a guy trying to make eye contact and I ignored him to just enjoy my beer and book. Husband is in the back kitchen (manager). Eventually, this dude gets up to leave and comes right at me.

"I just have to say, I like your look. It looks good. Keep it up and I might just keep coming back here! Hahahaha" and exits.

Am I crazy for this bothering me as much as it did? It just felt icky. Because, one, I'm dressed this way for me and my enjoyment. This is not for you or to entice you to keep coming back here. And the way he worded that made it sound like "keep it up so I keep looking because you know you want my business" and it was creepy. Most people at this place know I'm the manager's wife, so I didn't expect this nonsense.

Just. Fuck off and let me enjoy my beer, my guy. There are many other ways a compliment could've been worded. Just a "I like your look!" would've been fine with me. It's the rest of it that was gross.

You ever see those shorts where a woman will make a joke about men and the response would be how much do you weigh or something like that? And all the comments will be like "women☕" like dude get a grip heck most of the time the joke is harmless and they just go off the rails! And it annoys me when other ladies agree that it's ok for men to be offended and take action. No, it's not if you can't take a joke you need to say that.🙄. Then they wonder why women only make jokes amongst themselves. It's not that we're not funny you just end up crying about it if it's about you in any way.

I went on, yet again, another terrible date. At least he showed up unlike the others. But I am so over men never asking me any questions and just talking about themselves the whole time! Like I’m an interesting and funny person, but it’s hard to feel a connection when the only thing you’ve asked me is what I do for work and then completely ignored it. I am just so over the dating scene and am quite content to just be by myself with my dog until the day I die smh.

I was with my ex for ~2 decades and after all the weaponized incompetence and meanness I lost all attraction to him. We both 100% believed I was ace. That was a dealbreaker for him, so we split. Well...2 years later I have a boyfriend and it turns out that I'm not ace, who knew that just being a great guy would change everything for me?!?!

I'm terrified at how my ex will react to this. I know it's none of his business but YIKES.